This Has To Be the Best Way to use Affirmations

You have probably heard of affirmations. They are your desires made into statements that you read or say to yourself. It is kind of like casting a spell on your self. To go a step further; is a technique called “Affirmation Imprinting.”

The idea of Affirmation Imprinting is to repeat a statement over and over again, day after day, until it makes an "imprint" on your subconscious. Once this occurs, your subconscious mind will sense a difference between what it sees as being "real" and your outer physical world. This difference will cause your subconscious mind will provide you with ideas, motivation and behaviors so that your outer world will begin to match up with your inner world. It will be magical the way doors and opportunities open up for you everywhere in order to make that affirmation a reality.

In order for the affirmation imprinting to occur most effectively, the affirmation statements need to be created a certain way, and completed in a certain order.

First they must be personal, used in the first person. You are going to use the words "I" and "My" in each case; do not use the second or third person. In other words do not use the word “you” or your name.

Second they must be positive, with a clear definition. You would state your affirmation like this: "I eat healthy meals each day." A negative, and thus ineffective affirmation, would be "I don't eat junk food."

Third you must use visualization words; you must understand that although the subconscious is a powerful tool, it is still rather simple: It sees what you are saying as images rather than words, and so it can't comprehend words like "don't" and "can't." When you say, "I don't eat junk food," your subconscious mind brings up an image of you and junk food, and you actually begin to reinforce the behavior that you are trying to change.

Fourth the affirmation must be in the present tense. You would think it makes sense to use the future tense, as in "I will be successful", this isn't the case. When you put your statement out into some distant future, nothing is created within the subconscious mind, and therefore no imprinting or changes will occur.

You see, when you say that you will be successful someday, you are also implying that you are not successful now. That matches exactly with what your subconscious knows to be true, and therefore no change.

Just by changing that same affirmation to present tense, "I am successful in my business," you create what is needed for your subconscious goes to work. These guidelines are crucial to Affirmation Imprinting.

So how exactly do you use an affirmation successfully? Simply follow these directions:

Choose what that you would like to change. Since you are just starting out; choose a single subject; trying to change too many things at once will greatly reduce the probability of anything happening. Once you start to see the effects of your affirmation becoming your reality, only then would you start with a new affirmation.

Get some index cards and using the guidelines to properly write out your affirmation in big, bold lettering. Make sure you can read your own writing. If the subject is too great for an index card rewrite, and rewrite until your affirmation is one sentence.

Place these cards around your environment so that you see them constantly. Place one by your bed, one on your refrigerator, one on your bathroom mirror, one by your computer monitor, one in the back pocket of my pants, and so on; in places where you will see them often.

As soon as you wake up in the morning and right before you fall asleep at night, say the affirmation out loud. When you repeat these statements, speak with enthusiasm, and smile knowing that with each affirmation read, you are deepening the imprint on your subconscious mind.

Each time you see any of the other index cards that you wrote the affirmation on, say the statement out loud, again with enthusiasm and the knowledge that soon you will see the desired changes.

When you start to see the changes in your life "magically" happen; you can move on to a new affirmation to work on.

So go on and do it, do it now. The only thing stopping you; is you.

Be Blessed

How to Have Natural Highs

There is a feeling that all humans enjoy. This feeling is called “being high.” Once a person has experienced a high they want to experience it again and again. Why do people try to get “high” through alternative means?

Unfortunately it is because most people experienced a high for the first time by drinking, or using drugs, or some other alternate means. It is a sad thing that they can only experience a high when they use these destructive methods to try to re-experience that high.

There is a real high, a natural high that you can experience. It is a similar high as the one achieved by artificial stimulus, but without the destructive side effects. This real high lasts longer and is far more satisfying than fake highs, and these reality highs can be consistently reproduced.

A fake high, lasts only as long as the chemical effects allow. This causes people to have to become drug addicts, or alcoholics to maintain the experience. This lifelong addiction to the artificial stimulus to experience a high is destructive. The chemicals cause one to lose functions of the body and spirit. A real lose of not just motor control but mental control as well. The chemicals have other side effects such as health problems, money problems social problems and so on.

Similar to the fake high, a real high can last for as long as you can maintain it. Once it is achieved you can enjoy the high without any destructive side effects. Rather than a loss of motor skills they become enhanced, instead of pickling your internal organs they function more efficiently, and so on. So why don’t people go for the real high? Because they don’t know how to achieve a true high, no body has ever taught them.

So what does cause a natural high? The answer is surprisingly simple, easy to learn, yet so seemingly hard to master. Natural highs take place when a trio of emotions comes together: pleasure, well-being, and happiness.

Pleasure is an idiosyncratic perception by an individual based on the five primary senses. The experience is highly individual, for example two people can look at a butterfly; one sees beauty in motion the other sees a bug. Two People listen to a song, one hears music the other hears noise, and so on for all the senses.

Well-being is the feeling that all is right and correct with you and your world. Feeling comfortable that everything, for the moment, is the way it should be.

Happiness is an emotion, and like all emotions it is difficult to give a definitive explanation of it. Happiness differs from the other emotions as it is the one you can choose. You can at any time choose to be happy, and that emotion will push out whatever other emotions you are experiencing.

Natural highs involve the release of physical and emotional tensions while still being fully aware of the mind and body: The sensation of “letting go” without guilt or reservation. This process of creating your own euphoria is a feeling, that once achieved will never be forgotten.

You probably have a memory or two of natural highs. If you examine them you will discover that these natural highs occurred when you were experiencing freedom. Free from guilt, free from being controlled by something or someone else. Here is a key, so pay attention. Freedom is being in control: of your self, of your own destiny, and of your own reality. If you are living honestly and rationally; you have an acute sense of the physical and psychological process of living. That clarity and control of self, life, and reality; is what leads to the ability to “let go” and to produce a truly exhilarating physical as well as emotional high.

The amazing part of all this is; natural highs come from within. You are the creator of your own euphoria, you are the only one who can experience this high, and you are the only one who can create it. Realize this; you are the only person living in your skin. Therefore it is only you who can feel what you feel, you are the one who can choose what you feel and when. To have a real high you must be free.

To give up your freedom; to surrender your life, happens when you ask other people to solve your problems and give you happiness. Do you know what you get when you do that? You get told: To get a job so you can buy your own twelve packs. Is that how you want to live, from twelve pack to twelve pack?

You are responsible for your own self; you are solely responsible for your own actions. You must choose for yourself; to live your life, to solve your own problems, to be honest with your self, to be happy. To choose differently results in loss of freedom and therefore the loss of happiness.

A natural high is a here and now, self induced feeling. You must simply know when you are as well a where you are. Then add in pleasure, some well-being, and some happiness; then let go, and you will experience a real high.

Be Blessed

The Guide to Setting Goals

How to Be Better

Have you heard the saying “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”? This fairly well known axiom is so very true and wise that many people discount its depth and do not pay it the attention it deserves.

When ever we do something, the first time is hard and difficult. The second time it is just a little bit easier, the third time a little easier yet, and so on until what we are doing becomes easy and second nature.

There is another saying that you will like; “The only time you start at the top is when you are digging a hole.” It does not matter the task or training we undertake, when we do something new, the first time we do it; it is slow, difficult and low quality stuff.

When we think of something we create something. In the degree that we attempt to use our thoughts; we continually become able to use them more effectively. The first time you try something you may very well fail. The failure is only temporary, you attempt the same thing again and while you may fail again, you did not fail as badly as you did the first time. Eventually you will succeed, and soon after that you will become skilled at that task, eventually you become a master at it.

Progress is slow at first, more rapid as we proceed. Power grows by using it, in other words; using our power brings increasing power. This is governed by the law of attraction, the same as every thing else things in our lives. The Law of Attraction has a corollary: The Law of Reflex. This law basically says; the more you do something the easier it becomes.

Let’s say you decide it is your destiny to play the piano in concert. No one can sit down to the piano and play the piece of a master like a master the first try. You try and it is not pretty; however, you do not conclude, that the piece of the master cannot be played by you, or, for that matter, by anyone. You learn what the notes on the paper correspond to what keys on the piano. You learn to use your fingers to press the keys to make the notes. You practice the piece, over and over. The law of attraction comes to your aid, whereby your mind follows the music more readily, more rapidly, and more surely each succeeding time.

There also comes into operation and to your aid the law of reflex; underlying the action whereby your fingers co-ordinate their movements with your eyes and the movements of your mind; more readily, more rapidly, and more accurately each time you attempt the task.

You stumble through at first, there is no harmony, no rhythm, nothing but discord. Until by and by the time comes when your talent finally reveals itself, and you play the music as the music of the master. The music you play succeeds and surpasses the work of the master, you finally are recognized as a master, play in concert, thrill and move the masses, and thus your dream has come true.

So it is in the use of the power of thought. It is the reiteration, the constant reiteration of the thought; that grows the power of continually stronger thought, and this brings about action. Action brings more action, and that finally brings manifestation of the thing we desire.

So find out what you want to do, then do it. Do it over and over and over until you are good at it. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…

Be Blessed

How to Discover Your Inner Power

There is something very important you need to know: That you can create your life to be what you want it to be.


You know that YOU are the creator of all that occurs in all of your life experience, right? Believe it or not; you ARE the one that creates your physical life experience through your thoughts. Literally, every thought that you think gives birth to a creation. EVERY thought you have has creative power.


The thoughts that you think, regarding those things that you want, set into motion the creation, and eventual fulfillment of that which you want. And likewise, the thoughts that you think, regarding those things that you do not want, set into motion the creation, and eventual fulfillment of that which you do NOT want.


To some of you this may be old news. Blah, blah, blah, the Law of Attraction, blah, blah, blah. So how do you use this discovery to improve your life?


There is a simple three step formula that you use to control the Law of Attraction and to manifest your desires into reality. Let me explain a couple of the concepts before moving on.


There is a technique called “Creative Visualization” and it is the technique of using your imagination to create what you want in your life. There is nothing at all new, or unusual about creative visualization. You are already using it every day, every minute in fact. It is your natural power of imagination, the basic creative energy of the universe which you use constantly, whether you are aware of it or not.


The next concept to become aware of is the way you regard your life. Your life is not your master, it is your child. You groom your life to be the way you desire. You teach yourself, you train yourself, and you make you who you are by growing into yourself. Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the universe is endlessly bountiful. Just use controlled effort to put forth a clear enough request and everything your heart desires must come to you.


Lastly I must explain to you that what you think is what you get. Be brutally honest with yourself and watch your thoughts. Spend time thinking of what you want rather than what you don't want. Be very careful of this, because if you envision something quite casually, even though you may not be sure you want it, it will manifest. You will get what you ask for; it may not be what you want.


So to get on with the lesson let us grab a piece of paper and pen. Sit down in a comfortable spot and write down your desire. You can have anything you want; you can be anything you desire; so write it down. Imagine if you will a genie just popped out of the bottle and told you that it will give you one wish today: What would that be? Write it down. This is step one; know what you want.


Now that you have firmed up your desire, get comfortable in your chair and daydream about your desire that you just wrote down. Add as much detail as you can, add color, temperature, and any other detail you see fit to add. This; the world of images, is the source of power in your physical world. Imagining what you want is like creating a model before you build the real thing. The images direct the energy in your body. Beliefs generate thoughts; and thoughts generate emotions, which in turn creates your inner experience that becomes your outer reality. If any area of your life is not working, one of your beliefs in that area simply needs to be enhanced. This is step two; see what you desire.


You are the creator of everything in your life. Nothing has happened or happens to you that you have not called to you. Life is really very simple. What we give out, we get back. You create creation with the thoughts that you think.
The inner desire of the wise and conscious soul is to externalize, to create a tangible manifestation of what it internally holds to be true and thereby experience that belief. It is through that experience that the transformation occurs. This is why it is so important to develop self-awareness to the depths of your ability so that no creation can come about in your life without your having made the choice.


Now you must take some time for introspection. Realize that you have created your reality: You have designed your life yourself. Look for yourself; everything is familiar, you have seen it or felt it before. You have created nothing in your outer reality that is a stranger to you. You need to accept reality for what it is: Reality. Once you have that conception, you can change it; sometimes quite rapidly and sometimes a bit slower.


There is comfort to be had by looking at your "outer circumstances" and realize that this is a perfect reflection of what you truly believe as a soul. With each breath, with each pulsation of energy, you send out this essence of yourself, which mingles with other essences and creates and re-creates your physical environment.


Feel yourself centered within and sending out waves of your energy. See it radiation outward from your physical being and into the environment, where it becomes an extension of yourself. Realize that the objects you perceive as "out there" are the materializations of your thoughts, formed by your energy into the symbols of the inner you, the essence of which you are, and thus your very soul. Emotions help you create reality. When you believe in something, love, desire, and want it, you can create it more quickly. If there is anything you want to become aware of, focus upon it. Whatever you turn your attention to, you will create. That was step three; believe.


So there you have the formula for having a happy life the way you want it.
Step one; know your desire. Step two; see what you desire. Step three; believe.


Be Blessed

How to and What to Do to Be Happy

Being happy is the number one priority of all humans. Come to think of it; being happy is the main priority of all living things. Being happy and being content are closely related. Being content is to be reasonably satisfied with the way things are. This in turn leads to happiness. The desire to be happy is what drives people to do the things we do. So how do you know if you’re happy?


First things first; you will know you are happy when you feel it. You will feel contented; a calm satisfaction that your characteristics and circumstances are as they should be. What can you do to seek this contentment, this happiness?


Start with knowing your strengths and abilities. What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, and good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others. You may well be surprised that there is more than you realized.


Live from the inside out. Know that your universe, your reality comes from you. You cause your life to be as it is, so you need to increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Some people meditate, some perform rituals, some pray, and some commune with nature. Find what satisfies you, stare at a candle until it is burned out, set an egg timer and listen to the clicks. Learn to see and commune with your inner self as well as your source of power. (That some call god) Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind, and listen. With a bit of practice you will find it easy and comforting. If you ever skip your “quiet time” you will miss it and desire to connect as soon as possible.


The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have. If you do not like what you have; change it.


Realize that you are connected to everyone and everything else. You are a part of the whole; a piece of the puzzle of life, the universe, and everything. When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you; is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done for them. Serve others as you see fit, but you must know that sharing is voluntary, an act of kindness, do not allow yourself to become “taken advantage of.”

Making your self happy is indeed one type of work that is worth it. You and only you can know what your satisfaction level is. Be honest with yourself and take the steps required to ensure your own fulfillment. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

So go forth already, and be happy!

Be Blessed

Learn How to Be Happy

The Present Moment

What does everyone have in common? What is it that affects everything no matter its size? What “Thing” can never be stopped and can never be avoided?

The answer is simple but complicated: The Present Moment.

The present moment affects everyone the same, no matter your race, creed, gender, or social status. It only exists right now, it can never be undone, and can not be stopped. The present moment is now, and it will always be right now.

The present moment is all we ever have; we all have it all the time. We can not have the past, it is over and unchangeable. We can not have the future as it is only an imagined thing. The only thing we have is right now; the present moment.

We only feel right now. You can only be happy right now. You can not be happy tomorrow, you can not be happy yesterday, you can only be happy right now. You can only BE right now; you exist right now, you can only exist right now.


You can have memories of past feelings and experiences, but you can not relive them. You can duplicate past feelings and experiences, but you can never have the same one a second time. Each and every emotion and experience you have is unique to you and is experienced only in the present moment.

The breath you just took is done, over with, never to be done again. The breath you are having right now is all you can or will have. The breath you are about to take is in the future and may or may not arrive depending on you.

Thoughts you had in the past are memories and can not be changed or undone, they are in the past. The past is fixed; it is in the past and will stay in the past. You can not live in the past no matter how hard you try; you live now, for now, and right now.

You can control what you will experience, but you only experience it right now in the present moment. You can think only right now. Every thought you have is in the present moment, you can not have a future thought, you have the present moment, and that is all you have.

You can use your thoughts to cause certain effects on your present moment. You can think now “I will hold my breath” and then you do. So the future breath you were about to take has been postponed and lost at the same time. You can not un-hold your breath, so therefore you can not breathe that breath you would have had if you did not hold your breath. Yet at the same time you did not have that breath so you can breathe it when you want, but only if it is in the present moment.

You can make plans for your future, you can plan to do anything you desire, but you can not have your future until it arrives. You plan to take a trip somewhere, yet you do not experience the whole trip at once, you experience one part at a time, in the present moment. You buy your ticket right now, and you have it. You board the plan right now and so you have. The plane takes off right now, and you have experienced the acceleration, but that is over and now you experience flying. The thing is; you are experiencing it in the present moment, and that is right now.

You can not plan emotions, you can only experience them, some you can experience by choice and others not so much by choice. You can choose to be happy, and you will be happy, but you will only be happy in the present moment. It is the same with pain; you only experience it right now. It does not affect you in the past; only right now, this instant; the present moment.

You have a certain amount of time allotted to you; this is called your life span. You will only live for so long and then this life is over. If you do not use your life force wisely then you have wasted one of the greatest non-renewable resources known to the human race. You must use your life; you only have it right now. You can only live in the present moment. Tomorrow is probable, but not guaranteed.

Use your thoughts to cause good present moments, always keep learning, because when you stop learning you stop living. You do not know what it is that you do not know; so learn every chance you get and you will know more. The more you know the better decisions you make, and the better your future moments will become.

You can choose your present moment; you can spend it, waste it or enjoy it. You; and only you can decide your present moment right now.

Be Blessed

The Guide to Setting Goals

Self Improvement is the Skill of Changing

Let us start off today with a little science lesson: The frog principle.

Try placing Frog A in a pot of hot water: What happens? He jumps out. Why? Because he is not able to tolerate sudden change in his environment, in this case the water’s temperature. Then try Frog B; place him in a pot of lukewarm water, then turn the stove on. Wait until the water reaches the boiling point. Frog B will stay is the water until it begins to boil, and then it will try to jump out. (If it is not too late) Why? Because it did not notice it’s environment making a gradual change.

People are like Frog B in general. We learn our lessons and take action only when we experience pain.

Normally we go through life blind to what is going on. We do not take the time or effort to realize what is going on in our surroundings, and with our life. We pay no attention to the warning signs because we think it is not our problem.

We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough. When do we realize that we need to change diets? When we wake up one day and realize that none of our clothes fit us any more. When do we stop eating candies and brush our teeth? When our teeth have cavities, and are rotting in our mouth. When do we pray and ask for help? When we realize that we’re going die tomorrow.

The only time most of us ever learn about unlocking our power is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart. We feel this way because we think it is not easy to change. The problem is that change becomes more painful when we ignore it.

Change will happen, like it or not. At one point or another, we are all going to experience different turning points in our life; and we are all going to eventually unlock our power not because the world says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realize it’s for our own good.

Happy people don’t just accept change, they embrace it. Now, you don’t have to feel a tremendous heat before realizing the need for self-improvement. Unlocking your power means unlocking yourself from the cage of thought that “it’s just the way I am”. It is such a poor excuse for people who fear and resist change.

Most of us program our minds like computers.
An example here; there is a lady that repeatedly tells everyone that she doesn’t have the guts to be around groups of people. She heard her mom, her dad, her sister, and her teacher, tell the same things about her to other people. Over the years, that is what she believes. She believes it is her story. And what happens? Every time a great crowd would troop over their house, in school, and in the community; she tends to step back, shy away and lock herself up in a room. So by programming ourselves we dictate what kind of life we live.

You have to realize that it is not what is in your story. Instead of having your story post around for everyone to remember, you have to have the spirit to show people “I am an important person and I should be treated accordingly!”

Instead of your story dictating your life without your consent, you should dictate your story.

Self-improvement may not be everybody’s favorite word, but if we look at things in a different point of view, we might have greater chances of enjoying the whole process instead of counting the days until we are fully improved. Three sessions in a week at the gym would result to a healthier life, reading books instead of looking at TV will shape up a more profound knowledge, going out with friends and peers will help you take a step back from work and unwind. And just when you are enjoying the whole process of unlocking your self-improvement power, you’ll realize that you’re beginning to take things lightly and become happy.

Remember life is a journey, we all end up in the same place; the grave. So enjoy the journey, enjoy the sights, you only get to spend this life once. So spend it well, and keep in mind that you should leave a place better than it was when you arrived.

Be Blessed

The Guide to Setting Goals

Spiritual Growth: The Challenge of Your Life

To grow spiritually in a world defined by power, money, and influence is a Herculean task. Modern entertainment; through television, magazines, and the web, etc. have predisposed us to confine our attention mostly to physical needs and wants. As a result, our concepts of self-worth and self-meaning are muddled. How can we strike a balance between the material and spiritual aspects of our lives?

Religion and science have differing views on matters of the human spirit. Religion views people as spiritual beings temporarily living on Earth, while science views the spirit as just one dimension of an individual. Mastery of the self is a recurring theme in both Western and Eastern teachings. The needs of the body are recognized but placed under the needs of the spirit. Beliefs, values, morality, rules, experiences, and good works provide the blueprint to ensure the growth of the spiritual being. In Psychology, realizing one’s full potential is to self-actualize.

First we need to understand this truth: To grow spiritually is to look inward.

Introspection goes beyond recalling the things that happened in a day, week, or month. You need to look closely and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations. Periodically examining your experiences, the decisions you make, the relationships you have, and the things you engage in provide useful insights on your life goals; the good traits you must sustain and the bad traits you have to discard.

Moreover, it gives you clues on how to act, react, and conduct yourself in the midst of any situation. Like any skill, introspection can be learned; all it takes is the courage and willingness to seek the truths that lie within you. Here are some pointers when you introspect: be objective, be forgiving of yourself, and focus on your areas for improvement.

Be objective:
Maslow identified several human needs: physiological, security, belongingness, esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualization, and self-transcendence. James earlier categorized these needs into three: material, emotional, and spiritual. When you have satisfied the basic physiological and emotional needs, spiritual or existential needs come next. Achieving each need leads to the total development of the individual. Perhaps the difference between these two; religions\ and psychology is the end of self-development: Religion says that self-development is a means toward serving God, while the psychological view says that self-development is an end by itself.


Be forgiving of yourself:
Religions that believe in the existence of God such as Christianism, Judaism, and Islamism, all suppose that the purpose of the human life is to serve the Creator of all things. Several theories in psychology propose that we ultimately give meaning to our lives. Whether we believe that life’s meaning is pre-determined or self-directed, to grow in spirit is to realize that we do not merely exist.

We do not know the meaning of our lives at birth; but we gain knowledge and wisdom from our interactions with people and from our actions and reactions to the situations we are in. As we discover this meaning, there are certain beliefs and values that we reject and affirm.

Focus on Improvement:
Religions stress the concept of our relatedness to all creation, live as well as inanimate. Thus we call other people “brothers and sisters” even if there are no direct blood relations. Moreover, deity-centered religions such as Christianity and Islam speak of the relationship between humans and a higher being. On the other hand, science expounds on our link to other living things through the evolution theory. This relatedness is clearly seen in the concept of ecology, the interaction between living and non-living things. In psychology, connectedness is a characteristic of self-transcendence, the highest human need according to Maslow.

Recognizing your connection to all things makes you more humble and respectful of people, animals, plants, and things in nature. It makes you appreciate everything around you. It moves you to go beyond your comfort zone and reach out to other people, and become stewards of all other things around you.

To grow spiritually is to recognize interconnections. To grow spiritually is to develop your potentials. To grow spiritually is to search for meaning.

So I leave you with this thought: Our lives have purpose. This purpose puts all our physical, emotional, and intellectual potentials into use; sustains us during trying times; and gives us something to look forward to---a goal to achieve, a destination to reach. A person without purpose or meaning is like a drifting ship at sea.

Be Blessed

How and When to Say No

We have all been in the situation where somebody asks us to do them, a favor and, even though there are a gazillion other things we should do first, we find it difficult to turn the other person down. The reasons vary from things like he or she has done us a favor in the past, to they are a close friend or a family member.

So we reluctantly say yes, when we really wanted to say no, but couldn’t; and so we find ourselves trapped into doing something that we really did not want to do. We can sometimes be so worried at causing disappointment in other people that we will try to please them; often at the expense of our own activities and interests.

Frankly, knowing how to say ‘no’ requires skill. Others might say that it shouldn’t be hard to do. But, let’s face it. We live as social beings and acceptance often occupies the number one spot in the list of virtues we want to achieve. Despite this, there are actually ways we can circumvent this difficulty using the following tips.

Here are five, pain-free and reasonable ways to say ‘no’.

1. Say ‘no’; then show what the other person has to do to get a ‘yes’.
For example the person wants you to help clean out her garage and storage shed. You know this means you work while she is on the phone. You do not want to do that so you say “no.” Then before they can take a breath: Tell the person that they must be willing to help do the work, and anything you say is trash gets thrown away with no argument. You can add on other conditions like she is buying the pizza, and soda, and so on. Once that person agrees to your conditions then you will say yes.

2. Make it impersonal.
I always give my daughter an out, I tell her to blame me. She can say no to her friends and then tell them her dad is making her stay home that night. Other people use me as the excuse; such as my neighbors tell their friends that they can’t party there as that guy across the street will call the cops.

3. Say ‘no’ in a way that will make the other person have to say ‘no’.
Instead of saying ‘no’, teach the other person to say ‘yes’ to what you want. Do this subtly, of course. Say your friend wants to borrow your lawn mower, say yes but add the condition that they have to mow your yard first. Most people when faced with extra work will balk, and change their minds.

4. Say you want to say ‘yes’, but…
You feel like your being extorted and used. Tell the person honestly that you do not feel they should be doing that right now. Do not offer excuses; just tell them ‘no’ in a stern manner. Explain that you are not there to support them; they should learn how to support themselves.

This is especially true when loaning money. Never sacrifice your own well being, tell them you will not loan them any money until they repay the last amount, and when they do, tell them you will not loan them any money because they are not managing it well. Offer to help them manage it, or get them help if they choose, but do not continue to propagate the problem.

5. Say it nicely.
You’re giving negative news, so you might as well do it nicely. Let the other person down easy to avoid misunderstandings. It’s the least you can for the disappointed. People tend to be more accepting of bad news if it’s brought in a polite and sympathetic manner. Put the onus on them: Tell them you can see their point, but you are not going to help them do something you feel is a bad idea.

For example the neighbor’s kid wants to borrow your lawn mower so he can mow lawns to make some money. The last time you did this it came back dirty, broke and out of gas. So you explain that since he did not treat your stuff with respect he can not use it again. Thus saying no, but in a manner that causes no hard feeling towards yourself.

So to sum up: Do not ever feel guilty about saying “No”; remember it is your life and not theirs. No sense in being miserable, if saying yes makes you happy then do so; on the other hand if saying yes cause discomfort, pain and personal dissatisfaction, then say “No.”

Be Blessed

The Choices and the Decisions We Make

Everything we have done and all the choices we have made have led us to where we are today. Our lives have been journeys: A journey from where we were to where we are now. There have been long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads have come our way as we journey through life.

Yet we are not done, there is still many roads to travel, and many choices to make. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment. There are corners, detours, and crossroads, with limited knowledge on where they would take you would you go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are?


There are no guarantees.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to success. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to the different situations as they arise.


Hindsight is always twenty twenty.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.


Take the risk: decide.

Since life offers no guarantees and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping you in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life. But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:

Get as much information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. So what to do? Get the information by asking. Just like any investigator, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. This is important, do not act without information. A uniformed decision is worse than an incorrect information decision. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

Identify and create options.

What options does the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.


Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.


Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. The important thing is that you have chosen to live! You have become the one in control, instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.

Be Blessed
The Guide to Setting Goals

The Worlds Worst Disease

The World’s Worst Disease
Today’s lesson is a heavy lesson; there will be much to think about afterwards.
WARNING---WARNING---WARNING----- The following information you are about to ingest may cause you to lose your religion. If you cannot survive without religion, then please do not proceed any further. Instead go watch TV or walk your dog, or go outside, do something else, just do not go any further than this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Still here? Then be prepared to have your mind altered and your outlook changed. You are about to take a major step towards personal freedom.
Once upon a time there was this man called Adam, he was created and placed in the Garden of Eden to live happily ever after. There was only one rule, do not eat from the tree of knowledge. Well he did and now the world has a lot more rules. You do realize that the story of Adam and Eve is an allegory, don’t you?
Remember for whom the first five books of the Bible were written for; a bunch of minimally educated slaves who had been freed from their servitude. Moses, the writer of these five books known as the Torah, was highly educated, taught by the Egyptians as a child of royalty. He did read from the library in Alexandria, and he had a lot of information unavailable to any of his people. He knew many things that we are just now rediscovering.

The problem, he realized, was that these people now needed to be educated and he had to keep it simple for those who did not have the same education that he did. You cannot explain rocket science to a three year old, you just say the rocket makes noise and then flies away. So it was with them, Moses had to keep it simple. To show that the story is just that, a story, there are many in-congruencies, for example when the brothers have their fight and one kills the other then we see that offending brother leaves his parents and goes to the city… An editorial mistake on the part of Moses? Not really he was writing an allegory, telling a story to make a point. God obviously made more than the initial pair of humans, just look at the races, if we all came from one set of humans, then why are there seven distinct races of human beings? So just how many people did God make? The answer is simple, he made all of them. The point here is not debating human creation, it is that the Garden of Eden story is an allegory, a story told with symbolic representations of a deeper spiritual meaning.

Let us continue with this allegory theory a bit further, so when God made man he said “let us make man in our own image”, not make man in my image; but our image. So that implies more than a single entity. The next mind blowing part is what is the image of a formless being? If it was two arms, two legs, and a head then the monkeys should have been enough, rather it was something else the One created. The Source created conscious beings. Did you catch that? The one God, the Source, created consciousness, and put it into human bodies. Consciousness exists, it does not evolve; it is the phenomenon that the humans have that the animal kingdom doesn’t. Sure animals are intelligent, and able to perform many tasks that they learn, but they can not produce value.

Animals are consumers; they live by sacrificing each other to each other. They do not produce any tangible assets or physical values. They exist only to procreate and consume. They do not try to improve their lives by building better dens or shelters, they do not worry about fashions or jewelry, they only concern themselves with the next meal, and so on and so on. Not one other animal in the history of this planet has learned to write and build. If you think there is, please point me towards the reference that can show me ancient writings of a different species, or their ancient dwellings. No, only humans have done these things, we humans are the only animal on this planet that has consciousness, the ability to use the mind to know information.

The conscious mind needs no evolving to understand anything in existence. There is much that is unknown, but there is nothing that is unknowable. Knowledge is obtainable; it can be discovered, as well as generated. Once the correct knowledge is obtained the conscious being can do anything.

So what is God? First we need a base definition, with so many different beliefs and philosophies it may seem impossible. Once again, nothing is unknowable; it seems that all religions, from eastern to western, all agree that God is the controller of the universe. Now realize this; the controller, is an individual. Sure the one is a supreme being whose existence we can not comprehend yet, but nevertheless an individual.

Now when you have a relationship with an individual it is a uniquely distinctive interaction. The relationship whether it is as simple as friendship, or as deep as romantic involvement, is experienced differently by each individual. Try to share emotions with someone; you can’t. What makes you happy may only make someone else mildly amused, or what you consider humorous another would consider blasphemy. Emotions are experienced by the individual, as personally exclusive to that one person.

So it is with your relationship with the One, the Creator, the Controller, the Source, God. Your relationship is your relationship; you can not explain or rationalize to another person your relationship. Sure you can use general terms like friendship, or love, but nothing concrete. Can you explain the love you feel for your spouse, your kids, or anyone else you care about? Probably not, you would use the term love, but you could not explain exactly what that was or is, as you are trying to explain an emotion. So far emotions are pretty much definition free as words would never be able to do them justice.

Now as in all relationships you develop names for each other. Let us say your friend down the street is named John. Well John tried something silly with his yard, and now has no vegetation there. So as a tease you began calling him “Sand Lot” and soon the name stuck. You also develop names for significant others; names like poopsie, honey, sugar, and so on. So one day you find yourself saying “Honey I’m going to Sand Lots’ house” and they know who you are talking about.

So it is with your relationship to the Controller, you develop a name. So did some other people, they gave God a name and then when they shared it with others they expected everybody to agree. Some did and some did not. When others did not, instead of integrating the knowledge they fought about it. For example the people who call God “Allah” want to kill the people who call God “Jehovah”. If you call your neighbor “Sand Lot” and your other friend calls him “John” do you argue about who is right? Not usually, one discovers the reason from the other, you integrate the knowledge. But for some reason people will not do that when it comes to the Controller of the universe.

So what is the reason for this destructive behavior? The answer is complicated as it is simple: Organized religion. Not religion, religion in itself is merely a definition of a relationship; your beliefs and opinions concerning divine involvement with human life. No, rather organized religion is the culprit. Organized religion is the institutionalized system of beliefs and practices concerning the divine.

Organized religion was started by professional parasites. These parasites are people who can not produce a value of their own ability, so they have to take it from others who do produce values. They do this by using non sequiturs (facts taken out of context) to cause guilt where none existed before. These value destroyers use fake crusades for social justice, and human rights. They are motivated by envy, the old “if I can’t have it nobody can” attitude. They use their minds for conceiving ploys for plundering the value producers while at the same time hiding their incompetence, and dishonesty. These organized religion types are lumped together as theologians. To call them priest, or rabbi, etc. would be an insult to the honest and good ministers that are out there. Any person who gets paid for practicing theology is a theologian.

Why should you have to pay someone to help you grow closer to your god? You shouldn’t, the information is there, and the pieces of the puzzle are all around you. To pay someone to help you “get to Heaven, or Nirvana, or Fiddlers Green, or whatever happy place you go when you die is just plain extortion. Subtle, but nevertheless still extortion.

“What about the good that theologians do, like help the poor?” you ask. Indeed their “good” is only that; good in quotes. Their good involves altruistic cheating that is designed to sacrifice the value producer while collecting both the praise and the middle mans cut without actually producing anything of value. They twist the meaning of words to make their bad look good and the good to look bad. The theologian makes unjust denigrations (defamations) of personal success, prosperity and happiness. These religious theologians support themselves by promoting God and altruistic schemes to make a living without actually earning one. They then use their hypocritical ploys to usurp values earned by others so that they can collect unearned respect and power.

Let us say you are a maker of hats. You sell hats all day every day and you make a nice living for yourself and family. One day you saw a man without a hat and as a compromise you gave him a free hat that advertised your hat business. You both win, him getting a hat and you getting advertising for the cost of a hat. Some professional parasite saw this transaction and decided that he wanted a hat too. So he goes to the hat maker and demands a free hat because he saw the poor man get a free hat. You try to explain that the hat was a trade, but this leach goes on to explain that he is a minister of such and such religion and that it is your duty to give him a hat. He then ups the ante by demanding a whole box of hats and some cash for his lunch or he will tell his congregation that you are a godless heathen and should be punished for your selfishness. One minute ago you were an honest business person that committed an act of voluntary generosity, now all of a sudden you are a selfish heathen. So you give this parasite the box of hats and some money for his lunch thinking that will be the end of it. Oh how wrong you are… The ordained parasite returns almost too regularly for a “donation” to help the poor, or support the church, or some other equally “good” sounding reason. When in reality it is simple extortion through the veiled threat of loss of your good reputation and your lively hood.

So how does this relate to religion? Organized religion probably started way back when people were first learning to use verbal communication. The people used religion to explain the things they did not yet scientifically understand. These people would be led astray by the early professional parasites. The shaman (just a designation for illustrative purposes) would have the people bring him food and he would influence god on their behalf. So the hunters would feed the shaman, and the shaman in turn would perform a mystical ritual that only he could do to influence the god. Sometimes through random chance it worked, if it didn’t the shaman would announce that it was not gods will, or that they were being punished for some wrong doing and had to make sacrifices (usually to the shaman) for it to made right and so the god would be happy with them again. So if the shaman was smart he could wait for the fall to produce the goose dance, and then sure enough within days; formations of geese would start flying overhead. Or in the spring the buffalo dance and then as if by divine providence; the herds of buffalo would return, thus proving to the people that the shaman did have favor with the god.

Now with many scientific discoveries that explain many of the things that were once considered mystical, the theologians have to resort to dishonest inversions of facts and values. For example they disparage modern labor saving devices that save both time and physical energy. By preaching a “return” to basics, that modern appliances usurp the old values of hard work. The opposite is actually true, that the modern appliance allows us to get more done, to be more productive. The organized religion theologian will seek to destroy the maker of these machines, unless that value producer “helps the poor” by making suitable donations. That is how these dishonest professional parasites work, by destroying values they make a living.

Just think of all the sickos that rose to power this way, people who demanded human sacrifice, or mutilation, and so on. Because of this organized religion creation; many wrongs have been committed, and are still being committed against the human race. Small community gatherings becoming a church, which becomes an organized religion, that becomes a pseudo business, and that destroys the good while pretending it is good.

Imagine if you will that the government passed a law that friends can only be greeted by kneeling. That you could only talk to your spouse while facing towards some sacred city. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? So why should a religion tell us how to connect to source? Why is it that dressing in a certain way is more pleasing to the Creator than other modes of dress? Who decided that we should have to be on our knees when talking to the One? How dare they try to tell us how to have a relationship with our God?

What good came from burning millions of people at the stake? What good came from the inquisition? What good does blowing up a market place full of people or a building do? All this destruction because they may have a different belief system; sometimes only mildly like a denomination of a religion, or a totally different ideal altogether. Why do organized religions destroy other religions, and value producing people? Do they not realize that there is more than one face of the Controller? Why should they defend their view as the unalterable truth, rather than integrate the knowledge to form a more complete picture?

They do it because they think it is big business. A lot of money flows through organized religions. The only difference between the mafia and organized religion is honesty. The mafia fully admits that what they do is for the money, and they also will treat their comings and goings as business. Organized religions proclaim that they are doing the will of god. These mega churches extort money from honest value producing people by inducing guilt, and when that fails, force.

There are many books written about the divine; that cover many of the aspects of the One. The range is astounding, from simple earth worship, to the metaphysical. There is no reason to take and hold a single view of the Creator. There is no logical explanation for holding on to erroneous and incomplete views. Why would you want to destroy someone just because they have a different religious viewpoint?
So you don’t think this persecution still goes on even today? What do you think would happen to a person if they went to a mosque in Baghdad and declared they were a Christian? The same thing would happen if that person went to a church in Georgia and declared they were a witch. Not a pretty picture, is it?

You would not understand and would willfully disobey a law that was passed saying you could only have one light bulb in your house, to be able to illuminate only one room at a time. You would have many light bulbs, some hidden, some portable like a flashlight, some behind locked doors. You would have secret “room lightings” and would have friends come over so you could have a two lamp party, and so on. So why should you have only one religion?

Once again, your religion is your relationship with the Controller, the One. You, that’s right, you and you alone determine if and when you will worship. You are the one who will decide if and how you will have a relationship with the Great Spirit. You can seek advice from others, and you can even practice with them if this helps you.

The trap you should avoid is to hold one view as immutable. There is a lot of information that we do not have yet. Maybe if we could compare notes with each of the religions we would see and understand the bigger picture. To study theology does not make you a theologian in the bad way, as long as you produce more value than you consume you will lead a happy life. Pursuit of knowledge is a good thing.

Just like you have a responsibility to have a relationship with your significant other; it is your responsibility to have or to not have a relationship with your god.

No body and no organization can tell you differently, you have been mislead long enough, now is the time to open your eyes and see reality for yourself.

So go forth and exercise your new freedom, your relationship with the Great One is for you to decide.

Be Blessed.

Laziness and Misery

Have you ever been miserable? Did you know why you were miserable? Misery is caused by lazy people. Lazy people are people who have to depend on others to survive. I am not talking about children, elderly or handicapped people, but fully functional humans who through lack of desire cause misery.

There are inseparable links that exist between productivity and happiness. The links between work and prosperity are obvious, yet too many people live without their earned pleasure. The deprivation of happiness is an unnecessary tragedy due to the altruistic guilt induced into the value producing individual.

Pleasure and happiness depend on psychological health, which in turn depend on productive work. Without productive work, the production of values, psychological health is impossible. Production of competitive values is the integrating growth dynamic for conscious individuals. Production of values provides freedom, prosperity, pleasure and abiding happiness. Moreover; happiness and pleasure act as the motivators for an individual to produce values and to increase ones productivity.

On the other hand, non-productive and destructive people fear and hate productive people. They resent being reminded of what they could be if they only applied themselves. So, rather than become productive individuals they would rather destroy what others have earned. This is called envy, and is a direct result of laziness. The meaning of laziness is the abdication of self responsibility. The mechanism of laziness is the yielding to actions of least effort. This results in incompetence and lost potential. Conscious beings cannot live, prosper, or be happy through actions of the least effort. This loss then forces the lazy person into having to attack the value producer in order to survive.

The attacks come subtly, by the envier creating half truths and propaganda about all people being equal and so those who have should give to the have not’s. By forcing the value producing members of society to surrender their earned values to those who won’t earn them, the lazy propagate a myth and thus make a living from the efforts of others. For those who wont surrender their value for the greater good, physical force is then used where psychological trickery failed. This is one of the main causes of misery in this world, and it is a root source of all that holds back the human race.

The lazy person has to create their own illusion of self worth by continually usurping the values created and earned by others. They take or destroy the values, rights and property of the productive person. Then to continue their illusion of pseudo self worth they have to continue to attack the productive people. These fake illusions then allow them to live off the efforts of the productive value producers. The misery comes when they realize, even subconsciously, that they are dependent on others for survival, and so are unable to earn self esteem.

Without self esteem people are unable to earn and achieve prosperity, pleasure, love, or happiness. Also not having any earned values means they hold no genuine power. Without this power they have to resort to force to fill the void of powerlessness. Ultimately these actions, created by trying to take the least action, cause misery to all the people concerned or affected by the lazy person.

Laziness is a social ill, one that can easily be “cured” just by the realization that it exists. A person must stop being lazy by recognizing the simple fact; that productivity is the building block for prosperity, and lasting happiness.

There are all sorts of scientific principles that point to the evidence that once a body is in motion it tends to remain in motion, and that an action was needed to start that body in motion. We won’t get in to a long discourse here as you should have learned it in the 8th grade. What we need to make the point on is this: You must take action, not the course of least action, but the most productive action you can.

Having a dream, goals and taking the action needed to realize them will bring you a happy and prosperous life. Failure to act, even the default of not having any desire beyond immediate physical needs, will result in misery. Not just your misery but it will cause misery to all those around you.

So find out your dream, and work to make it reality.

Be Blessed

One Day

This is a story that teaches a lesson; something we all need to learn.

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk.

He drank it so slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

He said ... "Then I thank you from the bottom of my heart." As he left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit..

Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. A specialist doctor was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.

Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life.

From that day he gave special attention to her case. After a long struggle, the battle was won. The doctor requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent t o her room.

She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words: "Paid in full with one glass of milk" Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: “Bread cast on the waters comes back to you.” The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?!

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

Stay Blessed
How to Have Anything You Want

Confidence

Before we start, please keep one thing in mind; Confidence and arrogance are two totally different things. If you confuse the two, you will most certainly become a very unhappy person with very few real friends. Arrogance is NOT a “quality” and it won’t help you reach your goals any faster.

Confidence in oneself, or the lack thereof is what stops people from getting tightly focused on what they want to achieve. That little voice telling them they can't do something is their biggest UN-motivator. What can YOU do to gain confidence?

25 tips toward boosting your confidence and self esteem.

1. Love Yourself:

This can take a bit of practice and looks really funny, but try it, it works. When you wake up, give yourself a great big hug. Do the same when it’s time for sleep.

You’ve heard this said a million times before: “How can you expect others to love you if you don't love yourself?” It’s true. Practice the morning and evening hugs for 2 weeks, maybe 3 weeks if you're the stubborn type, and you’ll see how well it works.

2. Look in the mirror:

Every time you pass a mirror, look into it and flash your biggest and best smile at yourself. It might feel strange at first, but eventually it’ll make you feel brilliant about yourself. Tell yourself “Looking good!” or “Wow, I love me!” or similar phrases often enough to actually start believing it.

3. Do things that make you feel good:

This can be anything from listening to music, trekking in the Andes, doing some volunteer work or even just taking a shower. Anything that gives you a positive feeling about yourself works for this one.

4. Listen to YOU:

Face it. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself, no matter how many people try to tell you differently. So if your body, mind or gut is telling you something, then take notice of it, and don't worry about what other people may possibly have to say about it.


5. Talk to YOU:

In times of stress, take a time-out break. Wander into your own mind and have a conversation with yourself about anything at all. Tell yourself how lucky you are to be you, and praise yourself for every good and positive thing you can attribute to yourself.

6. Remove negatives:

If anything feels like it’s dragging you down, get rid of it. If it’s clutter, tidy up, if it’s a friend full of negativity explain nicely that you don’t really feel up to talking right now. If it’s your kids acting up, leave the room for a while and so on.

7. Surround with positives:

Surround yourself with things that bring out good feelings in you. Examples could be things such as happy, upbeat friends, a nice new picture, a new car, an old comfy blanket, candles, pictures of your family, your girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse etc.

8. Rumours Die:

Did you hear something about somebody who said something about somebody else? Drop it! Rumours are nasty, horrible things that will only bring you down. Best way to kill a rumour? Ignore it!

9. Total Honesty:

Be totally honest with yourself at all times. If there’s something you don't like, admit it. If there’s something you don’t want to do “right now” and it isn’t necessary for health and safety reasons then just don’t do it until you feel like it.

Same goes for the positive aspects. If there’s something you want to do, and it’s not hurting anybody, then go ahead and do it. If you start feeling great about yourself for no apparent reason admit it and enjoy the feeling.

10. Responsibility

Take full responsibility for your own actions. Don't shove the blame for anything over onto someone or something else. We all make choices in our lives, and once we take responsibility for those choices we tend to choose better for ourselves.

Once we start to choose better, we feel better and things start falling into place. On the other hand, don't take over someone else’s responsibilities just because you feel “you have to”.
11. Pretend:

If you feel unsafe, unsure or nervous then go inside yourself and pretend you’re a hot-shot lawyer, actor, actress, singer or whatever you need to be.
Make believe you’re presenting yourself as that person would until you feel better. Trust me, you WILL feel better, and eventually have no need to be anything but yourself.

12. Keep Trying:

If you’re trying to do something but don't get it right first time round, then try again, and again, and again, constantly learning from your mistakes until you get it right. When you finally DO get it right, you’ll feel wonderful about it.

13. Credit where credit is due:

If you’ve done something really good, and people compliment you on it, accept the compliments with thanks! Understand that they’re complimenting because they really ARE impressed with what you’ve done.

Believe in you and give yourself a pat on the back. (Although physically it would probably be easier to just give yourself a round of applause).

14. Stand Tall:

Standing up straight will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself than slouching does. Stand with your feet slightly apart, suck in your tummy and behind, broaden your shoulders and straighten your neck. It’s an amazingly quick confidence boost.

15. Say Hello:

Make it a rule to say hi to at least one person you don't know EVERY day. Give them the smile you flash at yourself in the mirror, the biggest and best one you can find. They’ll smile back automatically, and they’ll walk away with a little extra confidence boost thanks to you.

People look their best when they smile, and they also feel better by smiling too! This ultimately means you get a confidence boost too, for making someone else feel good about themselves.

16. Never Say Never....Ever:

If you think something can’t be done, then you'll end up proving yourself right eventually. So never say never, just keep plugging along until it works for you.
If other people are telling you it can’t be done, you're going to feel such immense satisfaction at actually doing it that your confidence will soar.


17. Get Active:

Don't sit around the house just doing nothing. Get up, go out, cycling, walking, exercising, anything that might invigorate your brain. A lively brain full of thoughts will help you gain confidence.

18. “Happy Foods”:

Happy foods, such as chocolate, strawberries, lemons, ice-cream etc will increase the serotonin levels in your brain, leading to an increased feeling of happiness.

Feeling happy is a natural confidence boost. So go on, enjoy your food! (in moderation, of course).

19. Face Your Fear:

Is there something you are afraid of? Face it full on. Doing something scary and overcoming the fear is a fantastic way to boost your confidence. So go on, jump out of that plane (with a parachute of course), drive that car, speak in front of a large crowd, ask for a promotion, or whatever it is that scares you. You'll feel absolutely brilliant once it’s done.

20. Willpower:

Create a goal that you really want to reach. Possibly something like weight loss before a certain time, giving up smoking or having a certain amount of money in the bank within so many months etc. Take baby steps, and use your willpower until you succeed at reaching your goal.

It will be really hard, as will power can be very elusive at times, but keep going and don't give up. Once you have reached that first goal by using your willpower you will have the confidence to create new goals AND reach them.

21. Ask questions:

Any time you find yourself worrying about something you haven’t done, or something you think you should have done, ask yourself positive questions. Instead of thinking “I’m terrible for missing my friend’s birthday” think “What can I do to make my friend feel special?”

Or, instead of “Why can’t I ever seem to do things on time?” change it to “What can I change to better manage my time” Creating positive questions will release the negative energies which have a tendency to pull down your self confidence.




22. Learn:

Accept that not everything works out the way we plan it. Decide to accept any mistakes and rejections as part of a learning curve that we all need to go through.

Without mistakes, you can’t learn from your own experiences. Remember, experience builds confidence, so always learn as much as you can.

23. List:

Write a list of every single thing you're good at, anything from clipping the dog’s toenails to putting up a shelf. Take the time to sit and actually think about what you ARE good at and add them all to the list. You'll be surprised at how many things you end up jotting down, no matter how minor or trivial they may seem at the time.

Whenever you have a spare 5 minutes, or if you're feeling a little low, take the list out of your pocket and read it. This is a great little way to give yourself a nice confidence boost.

24: Help out:

There are lots of ways to help others, and feeling useful and helpful are great ways of building your confidence. Just make sure you do things because you WANT to do them. You could call a good friend who may be down at the moment-even take them out for coffee, you will brighten both your days, or you could possibly help out at an old folks home or similar. Knowing that people appreciate your help will boost your confidence for sure.

25: Show the way:

Think of the one thing you do best of all. Think long and hard about this one. Thought of something? Now, find a discussion group or similar related to that topic and spread your wisdom by answering questions, offering advice or help to anybody needing it. If you can’t find a group, you could even start one yourself.

People will look up to you and that will give you all the more reason to feel confident about yourself.


Be Blessed
How to Have Anything You Want
All About Manifesting